It’s 2026. Magic has gone digital. Hogwarts now has Wi-Fi (spotty in the dungeons), a TikTok ban, and a trauma-informed Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Harry is a 17-year-old who just wants to finish his N.E.W.T.s, but Voldemort’s ghost is canceling him on MagiTwitter. Hermione runs a Google Doc for everything. Ron’s YouTube algorithm is broken. Draco is a “reformed” edgelord with a podcast.