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Sam Malone. Okay, hear me out. Yes, he’s a recovering womanizer, but he’s loyal to his friends, runs his own business, and has that “fixes stuff at 2 AM” energy. Plus, the banter would never get old. I’d just need to keep the Cheers gang from moving into our guest room.

While some dismiss it as tasteless or juvenile, the game remains a powerful tool for social bonding, exposing personal values, and debating the merits of everything from Marvel superheroes to 90s boy bands. How to Play: The Rules of Engagement kill marry screw

Rebecca Howe. Pre–Tom Berenger meltdown, specifically. When she’s power-suit, hair-sprayed, scheming to marry a billionaire? That desperate, chaotic ambition is weirdly hot. One night of her complaining about corporate ladder-climbing while we share a bottle of bad chardonnay? Yes. Sam Malone